Just One of Those Things
by obsidianLight16
Summary: A simple mission leads to an event which leads to a completely odd conversation between two of our favorite characters.   Warning: Rated for language:D
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Er- pretty short and to the point I guess. Just something that was bothering me for a bit. I might put up a sequel if it works out. I mean...I HAVE the idea for it and everything. **

**Anyhow! Read on if you'd like :D I'm tired and it's late at night. **

**Let me know how it was ^v^**

_**Disclaimer: I own no one but the plot of course! :D**_

_Warning: Language (it's not Hidan for once), repetitive use of a particular word, and possibly OOC. (You decide ^-^)_

**

* * *

**

"You and I are like suspenders."

"What are you talking about?"

"When one of us is falling down, the other holds us up."

"That is the stupidest thing I've ever heard in my entire life- except for your ridiculous views on art of course."

What in the world was going on? And how did Sasori find himself in this situation? They had been sent out on a mission earlier to find a scroll on forbidden jutsu Orochimaru had left behind at an old base. They suceeded in getting the scroll, but on the way back as they were walking alongside a deep cliff, Deidara slipped on a patch of ice. Now they were stuck with Deidara dangling from the cliff and Sasori holding his hand like a little child to keep him from falling.

"It's not stupid yeah. It's true!"

"No it's not. Shut up before I kill you."

Sasori was already on his last nerve because Hiruko had gone missing and he couldn't ride in his puppet for secrecy. Having some hyped-up-on-dango-and-ramen blonde beside him for the entire mission wasn't exactly what he needed.

And now the kid was spouting some shit on suspenders.

"Whatever you say danna. You can't deny it un."

"I can drop you."

"..."

"..."

"But then you wouldn't be a very good pair of suspenders now, would you?"

"That's it- I'm dropping you."

"H-Hey wait! You can't just drop me!"

"Yes I can."

Sasori cruelly smirked, releasing his hold on the blonde's hand. He ignored the startled look on Deidara's face and calmly stood to his feet. Well that took care of _one _nuisance. All he had to do now was get back to the base and report the tragic death of his ever so so sweet partner. Sasori snorted to himself and started to turn around when the most ironic and unexpected happened to him.

He slipped on the same patch of ice that Deidara did.

The only difference being he had no one to catch him.

And as he zoomed backwards off balance, he couldn't help but to curse out Kami-sama and all its little henchmen. He was now floating over the edge of the cliff, glaring up at the sky with obvious contempt. He was positive that he was going to die and so thought it to himself with great bitterness in his thoughts. _Great...I'm going to die._

He had to have been in freefall for a good three seconds before his back landed on a substance too soft to be the ground. Yet he still had to be in the sky. A cloud just passed through his head. Sasori continued to stare at the light grey sky with a blank expression, limbs splayed in an eagle-spread position. Dark clouds were gathering in a large mass above him which meant a giant-ass hurricane was going to come in the middle of winter... or it was going to snow. The oddly relaxed redhead preferred the former. Hurricane's were much more exciting.

"Danna...what are you doing yeah?"

Sasori blinked at the irritatingly familiar voice and raised his head from where he lay, hoping that what he was hearing and seeing was an illusion.

Deidara curiously stared at him. "Sasori-no-danna?"

Sasori slowly raised himself to a sitting position, first looking down at the clay bird he was on, then to the ground hundreds of feet below, and finally to the source of his newfound irritation. "Wipe that shit-eating smile off your face," he ordered the grinning blonde seated cross-legged across from him.

Deidara only smiled wider, lifting his hands from his lap and contemplatingly holding a finger to his chin. "Ah- so rude. Perhaps I should have just let you fall, hmm?"

Sasori gruffly crossed his arms and looked away. Just when he thought he escaped that damn brat!

"Danna."

He reluctantly met the bright expectant eye of the blonde who was now staring at him in eagerness. "Fine. Whatever. Thanks."

Deidara lifted a brow. "No need for embarrassment danna un. It's what suspenders are for."

"Are you _still _on that? Shut up about it already. I swear you are the most annoying thing to ever walk this planet! Kami I should have just let you fall-"

A large gust of wind blasted by, causing the bird they were on to roughly jerk to the side. Sasori tumbled forward and ended up with a mouthful of clay while Deidara...

Well he tumbled off the back of his bird a long time ago.

Sasori lifted his head after a moment of silence, scanning the clay creation for any sign of his partner. A biting silence greeted him as a more gentle wind breezed through, the graying sky growing darker. Sasori remained staring at the spot the blonde once was, thoughts racing through his mind. _At least I didn't have to push him off. But where the hell did he go? And how the hell do you fly this thing? _He pushed himself up to avoid eating anymore of Deidara's vile clay and wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. Now if he only get back to the base...then he could _really _tell Pein that Deidara died and it wasn't his fault.

He fell off his own goddamn creation.

So long as this bird didn't crash- Sasori found he was free to go back to the base and throw a small party of celebration.

And celebrate he would.

A dark smirk formed on the redhead's face as thoughts of his merry fiesta filled his mind. No one would interrupt him. Not any stupid blonde begging for his attention nor any brat trying to get him to train with him.

There would be peace at last!

"Hmph. Some pair of suspenders you are."

Sasori froze, a horrifed expression overtaking his previously joyous one. No...it couldn't be true... Inching his way to the edge of the bird Deidara had last been seen on, he warily peered over and caught sight of his worst nightmare. The blonde was hanging off the edge of his bird's wing, obviously trying to climb up and make his way back to the safety of his creature's back. Sasori felt his brows raise. What a persistant brat! Why didn't he just die already?

Deidara looked up with a frown. "Aren't you going to help me up danna un?"

"No."

"You're the worst pair of suspenders ever!"

Sasori thought for a moment and then extended his leg before kicking the blonde harshly in his side. Deidara's eye couldn't have been any larger as the air was knocked from his lungs and he lost his grip on the wing he was holding and began to fall once more. Sasori smirked, snatching him up before he could escape his reach. Leaning halfway over the bird's back as he held onto a dangling blonde's hand, he wondered what could have possibly possessed him to rescue his idiot of a partner. Especially when he wanted him dead.

He blamed his ninja reflexes.

"I don't believe you!" Deidara snapped him out of his reverie, staring at him in disbelief. "What the hell was that for? That's dangerous!"

"Listen here closely," Sasori said, beginning to sneer. Oh no...his mouth was speaking on its own! He couldn't control it! "I am not a pair of suspenders. If I'm going to hold you up then it's going to be me as myself. Not some stupid attachment to a pair of pants." Before Sasori had time to be mortified at what he had said, an oblivious blonde spoke up.

"Not even if it was _my _pants?" Deidara said, completely missing the meaning behind the redhead's words.

Sasori felt an eye twitch, releasing his hold on the blonde. "Go die."

* * *

**A/N: Well that was rather abrupt. Ah well- it didn't turn out like I expected but I had fun all the same ^v^**

**And Hooray for subliminal messaging! (I don't even think I spelled that right :D)**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: I didn't think I'd come back to this story. But it turns out that it became a two-shot. **

**I hope you don't mind. :D**

**Warning: Language, slight violence, OOC**

* * *

Pein raised a brow as two certain members came crashing into the base. "What in the world...?"

"Hey fuckers! Whoa- what the hell happened to- HOLY SHIT! I'M SORRY MAN!"

He had been reading a manual on 'Peaceful World Domination' on their living room sofa when Hidan's alarmed screaming broke him out of his concentration and caused him to look up. His brow remained raised as a grumbling redhead stalked into the room with an unconscious blonde over his back.

"What happened?" he asked, taking his glasses off his face and placing it on the arm of the sofa.

"I haven't been able to find Hiruko since this morning," Sasori hissed. "Deidara is stupid. We fell off a cliff and then crashed into a giant tree."

"Hiruko?" Pein stood up, brushing down his pants in the process. "She's been in the kitchen this entire time," he said, completely ignoring the comment about their blonde bomber.

"What!" Sasori dropped the Iwa nin and raced to the kitchen.

Pein stared at the unmoving blonde on the ground and then nudged him with his foot. When Deidara didn't respond, he crouched down by his head and said into his ear, "I suggest you leave before Sasori comes back."

Deidara cracked an eye open in response. "Did you tell him where Hiruko is un?"

"Yes."

"Then-" Deidara sat up, fixing the back of his ponytail. "I'll get going. Thanks for the warning Leader-"

"DEIDARA!"

Pein vanished from sight as Sasori stormed back into the living room.

"-san," Deidara deadpanned, turning around to confront his livid partner. "Hi danna."

Sasori glared fiercely, marching straight up to him and jabbing a thumb into his partner's chest. "Why the hell is Hiruko wearing suspenders?"

"I don't know what you're talking about," Deidara aloofly said.

Sasori narrowed his eyes before grabbing the taller teen by his elbow and forcibly dragging him out into the hall and towards the kitchen.

Deidara stared wide-eyed at the mutilated corpse of Hidan hanging from the front door. "What did you _do_?" he asked, slightly fearing his own well-being.

Sasori glanced at him, a sadistic gleam in his eye. "I thought we could do with a Christmas reef. Would you like to join him?"

Deidara shook his head. "Nope. I'm good un."

Sasori scoffed under his breath, pulling him into the kitchen. "You won't be for long." He jabbed a thumb at his puppet sitting in the corner of the kitchen. He noticed Itachi was sitting at the table, staring at Hiruko with slightly narrowed eyes. Probably trying to figure out what was wrong with everyone in the organization.

Deidara hummed thoughtfully to himself. "So- what seems to be the problem hmm?"

"_Are _you _blind_?" Sasori looked at him in disbelief, waving a hand in the direction of his puppet with a bright green pair of suspenders on top of the Akatsuki cloak. "You put a bow on her too!"

"Oh..._that_...well er-"

"I'm going to kill you," Sasori seethed. "I'm going to kill you and it's going to be a painful death. A painful and _slow _death."

"But it was for Christmas!" Deidara defensively cried, taking a step back.

"I don't care," Sasori snapped before beginning to chase the blonde around their kitchen.

Itachi watched them with a blank face.

Sometimes he really wondered...

~X~

A Week Later On Christmas Day

~X~

Deidara sat up in his bed, feeling strangely elated.

After all, it was Christmas and Konan always cooked the best dinner during the holidays. And Pein had made it tradition for everyone to give one another presents. Usually the members avoided giving each other their presents face-to-face, either not wanting thanks or seeing the reaction of the receiver. But then they ate dinner and managed to put their 'differences' aside for a couple of hours to bring in the New Year by getting drunk off of eggnog.

Good stuff.

He got to eat a feast and ignore everyone for the entire day!

Well, at least that's what he thought.

So when Deidara woke up and slid out of his bed, it was perfectly natural for him to scream bloody murder at the redhead sitting at his desk.

Sasori cleared his ear out with his pinky irritably. "Do you have to scream so loud?" he muttered.

"W-W-_What_ are you _doing _in here?" Deidara stuttered out, wide-eyed. "And how long have you been watching me in my sleep?"

"I came in to give you your gift," Sasori said, blinking at him with bored eyes. "And you sleep like a wild animal. It's really unpleasant you know."

"Yeah well so are you!" Deidara snapped, crossing his arms in front of him.

Sasori snorted lightly, holding out a relatively small box. It wasn't wrapped and Deidara was pretty sure the it belonged to an empty cereal container, if the cheery dinosaur on the front of it had anything to say about it. "Do you want your gift or not? I have to take care of a small mission and figured I might as well give you your present before I forgot."

"A mission?" Deidara tilted his head to the side, visible eye narrowing. "Leader-san doesn't give out missions on holidays though un."

"It's to get eggnog," Sasori dryly said.

Deidara's face broke out into a wide grin. "What's this? Sasori-danna's become a little milkman for his fellow comrades hmm?"

"Keep talking and I'll throw your present away brat."

"Yeah whatever," Deidara laughed, only to do a double-take when he finally realized what his partner was wearing. His eyes bugged out of his face. "What...are you wearing?"

Sasori looked down at himself, his Akatsuki cloak off and a pair of familiar green suspenders over top his regular shinobi attire. "Clothes."

Deidara felt the corners of his lips twitch. "But why are you wearing suspenders?"

"They looked bad on Hiruko."

"So you just automatically assumed they'd look better on you un?"

Sasori glared as Deidara doubled over in laughter, half stumbling, half running, to grab the gift out of his hand before Sasori changed his mind and took the present back. "Laugh while you can," the redhead darkly muttered.

The blonde smirked and retreated to his messy bed where he sat down and ripped the box in half. He stared at what was inside.

"..."

"..."

"Sasori-no-danna...?"

Sasori's eyes narrowed. "What?"

Deidara held up a pair of fuchsia suspenders, a brow raised in question. "I knew you saw me as your artistic twin and what not, but isn't going so far as to want us to match a bit much? You know Pein will never let us go out on missions without our cloaks un. Although..." he musingly stroked his chin. "I do like the idea of these suspenders. You think if we got everyone in the organization to wear these we could ditch the cloaks?"

Sasori stared at him in silence for a while before regaining his sense of logic and glowering at the blonde. "Okay one: I didn't buy them so we could match, you moron. Two: We are not, and will never be, artistic twins. My art would never stoop so low as yours. Three: Leader-san would kill you for using his name. And four: Who the _hell _would wear suspenders? You think enemy shinobi will quake in fear at seeing us wearing them?"

"Your words cut deep," Deidara snickered, standing up and beginning to move around his room to put on his training clothes. "Seriously though? You couldn't be more original with your gift un? You just _had _to copy your dear little partner. And in case you haven't noticed, _you're_ wearing suspenders," he laughed.

Sasori turned away with an angry flush. "I bought those long before you bought mine."

"No you didn't," Deidara said as he strapped his newly bought suspenders on. "I bought mine at that thrift store three weeks ago on that mission to Konohagakure."

"Well so did I."

"..."

"..."

"Is that what you were hiding beneath your cloak?" Deidara asked, looking surprised.

Sasori rolled his eyes. "I wasn't hiding anything brat."

"So I assume that bulge under your cloak was somebody's child I wasn't aware of then?"

"Deidara?"

"Yes danna un?"

"Shut up."

* * *

**A/N: And that's that lol. **

**Sorry for the really long wait. It's been a year I think... :P**

**Anyhow, feel free to let me know how it was~**


End file.
